Dont call my damn phone with this.

..........................
I hate being awakened by my phone, but what I hate the most is when I wake up and get stupid ass texts or phone-calls.
Now if its an emergency, I'm cool with it.
But if it is past 12am, and you dont see me online on Facebook. DONT. CALL. OR. TEXT. ME.

But anyway, heres the phone call I received. (Epik High - Music, is one REALLY annoying ringtone to have at 1:30am.)
Its my ignorant friend D. Probably High, How do I know? His voice lowers in pitch when hes high -___-
(I mean, the dude usually sounds like.... Shane freaking Dawson when sober, but when hes high. BAM. Barry motherclucking white.)
I answer the phone, Already annoyed.
I don't even say anything, I'm just that annoyed, because he always calls me with some stupid shizz.
After relizing I'm not going to greet him, He says ".... Yoooo. Kris?"
I insult him, (Assmuffin is lovely insult may I mention.)
He's like.
"Yooooo....Come over here." Its obvious I'm pissed off, hes too busy being on cloud freaking 9 to notice.
I ask why, And heres the line, the very line that made me go off on him.
"So you can come over here and suck this dick while I lick on ya' neck!"
I pause. Deicing if I should put him in check. I come to a conclusion- I'm going to act like a Grade A Ghetto bitch.
I'm like, "FIRST OF ALL. Where the hell is your dick located!? On your freaking torso or something? Because it is physically IMPOSSIBLE to touch my neck with any part of your face while I'm sucking you off.
SECOND. I told you to stop calling me with this mess. You and me will NEVER, EVER, EVER DO ANYTHING SEXUAL.
Third, I'm finna beat your ass tomorrow if dare call me with this mess.
Fourth. You got like 346674747474 STDS from the millions of girls you did raw.
I'm probably getting Crabs, Herpes and AIDS just by simply conversating with me.
Call me again, just do it. I'll hit you in the mouth so hard your unborn great GRANDKIDS can feel it."

Hes earned a beating tomrorow though, because before I hung up, he mumbled.
"You said while you sucking me off... damn that means you finna do it?"

Now I dont condone violence- but I need to put him in check -____-
Or I could do it the Basic Bitch way and get an able-body friend to do it.
Less work on my part.
-Sigh-..... Back to bed, Unless the S.O. is still sleeping. :/