How to properly sext.

DONT SMILE IN A DAMN DICK PIC.

DONT SMILE IN A FUCKING PUSSY/TIT PIC EITHER.A

Actually. Dont show your face, AT ALL.

(I would show you lovely examples of how to safety sext, but then this blog would be considered "Age 18 and up")

But I will give you a lovely guide.

WHEN SEXTING A PERSON YOU HARDLY KNOW, OR JUST MET.

1. Do not, and I mean do not show your face. ever. who knows what the hell they'll do with that picture.

2. Take the picture in dim light. Why? Uhhh. You dont know the person, #Duh

3. Dont do it at all in the first place (But I know that ya'll dont listen, So just follow the tips)

WHEN SEXTING A TRUSTED PERSON, BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND. ETC.

1. Yeahhh... I still wouldnt show my face, Especially if you date the type of guys I do- the idiot would probably lose his/her phone somewhere. 

2. Get that pic as high quality as possible, shoot. Stand on top of the damn bathroom counter near the light!

(The owner of FauxVanityHorror is not responsible for any injuries caused by the stupid shit she encourages and or does on a daily basis.)

Eating-Out Tips.... (For Guys, Or For chicks who dig this.)

I'm not a fan of getting Eaten-Out. But I'm sick of my besties saying.
"URG! HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO EAT!"
"HE FREAKING BIT ME!!!"
"THAT IDIOT THINKS MY CILT IS 2 INCHES SOUTH!!"
"HIS DICK GAME IS ON POINT.... BUT HE CANT EAT FOR SHIT!!!"
"HE WAS GRINDING MY SKIN OFF WITH HIS TOUNGE!"
"IT WAS SO HORRIBLE I COULD FEEL MYSELF DRYING OUT LIKE A DAMP TOWEL IN A OVEN..." ETC.
(I'm quoting my friends, before anyone Grammar-Nazi's me.)

How to correctly give Oral sex (Eat Out) your female partner.

Oh... and after you, your boyfriend, girlfriend. ETC reads this, show them this guide, Just incase that idiot doesnt know the difference between your anus and your vagina.......

Guide To The Female Anatomy (With detailed explanation)

Your welcome. :)
I

How to be obnoxious on Facebook:

5 ways to be obnoxious on facebook:

1. Type everything in all caps. LIKE THIS? SEE? ISNT THIS MORE ANNOYING THAN A MOFO?

2. Go on a person's profile, and post nonsense (more annoying in caps) on their profile.

3. Leave an revelant comment on someones picture.

4. Like spam!

4. Be a bitch

5. Post a picture of you pulling a duckface.

I'm done for now. Hopefully none of my friends read this... or they'll be pissed.<3